Who Kidnapped Billy Bumble? Read online

  I often wondered if I should really associate with Nugent. I mean he’s not exactly the sort of guy you’d want to take home to meet your mother. In his own mind, he saw himself as some sort of benevolent Godfather-type figure, but the truth is he’s just a violent thug who happens to be more of thug than the thugs who ‘work’ for him. If you see what I mean.

  Just to prove my point, we actually first met after three of his thugs had worked me over with baseball bats. For something I hadn’t done. So yeah, he’s not exactly Mr Nice Guy, and his methods and mine will never be a match.

  He seemed to have modelled himself on the comic creation Boycie from the UK TV series Only Fools and Horses, but Nugent was no comedy series character and he was no fool either. He just sounded as though he was. Maybe that was his plan.

  Having said all that, he did know his way around the murkier side of life, and he did tend to know what was happening, when it was happening, who it was happening to, and who was responsible.

  And for some reason he seemed to like me – I think that’s probably because I’m not scared of him like most people are. He may even have a little respect for me. But I’m not kidding myself; he was given the nickname ‘Nutter’ for a very good reason. He is one.

  His old snooker club had been falling apart and on the two or three occasions I had been there, I used to wonder why he didn’t do something about it. Now I knew why. Nugent’s club had gone up in the world. Now he had a nice new building. He’d gone upmarket. The only thing that spoiled it was the location. Having a nightclub on the outskirts of an industrial estate wasn’t everybody’s idea of chic, but hey, what do I know?

  You have to wonder which planning rules had been applied when permission had been granted, but then this was Nugent we were talking about. It’s not so much a case of which rules applied, as much as which rules could be manipulated, and which palms needed to be greased. It was what Nugent liked to refer to as ‘sound business practice.’ Yeah. Right.

  ‘But this is the perfect place for a nightclub,’ he explained. ‘You put it in the middle of town and you get all the piss-head riff-raff trying to get in after the pubs have shut. Plus, of course, you can’t get a late night licence in town because you might wake the neighbours when people leave. You see, out here you have more control over who tries to get in and there are no neighbours to annoy if things get a bit noisy.’

  He beamed with satisfaction at his own master plan. It was obvious that if I had any more objections, he wasn’t going to be listening.

  ‘I’ll take you inside and show you around in a minute. But first, come and have a look at my new toy.’

  He had met me outside the main entrance. My car actually looked like a toy all on its own outside this huge building. It really was massive. I swear if you gutted the place you could have used it as an aircraft hangar.

  I hadn’t even got out of my car yet; I was leaning out of the window to talk to him. Now he swung open the passenger door and climbed in.

  ‘You drive,’ he instructed.

  My face told him what I thought of being instructed like one of his minions. He looked at me in surprise and then let out a huge sigh of exasperation. He clearly wasn’t used to people objecting to being instructed.

  ‘Alright.’ He sighed. ‘Would you please drive us around to the back of the building?’

  ‘Sure,’ I said, grinning happily. I knew I had to make a point with Nugent or he’d walk all over me.

  We drove along the front of the building and around the corner. The building wasn’t as deep front to back as it was wide, but it was still damned big. I stopped the car and turned to him.

  ‘Are you sure it’s big enough?’ I asked. ‘It must have cost a bloody fortune.’

  His braying laugh filled the car and echoed off the building.

  ‘That’s the good bit,’ he said. ‘I didn’t have to pay to have it built. It was meant to be a new computer place, but the company that was going to take it over went bust when they had all those hardware problems earlier this year.’

  ‘Oh yeah,’ I remembered. ‘I read about that somewhere. They had some sort of software that went haywire and messed up the operating system, just after they had a massive consignment of faulty hardware. It was suggested they’d been sabotaged.’

  ‘Yeeeess,’ he said slowly. ‘I read that. It was a bit coincidental how it all seemed to happen at once. Not many businesses would have been able to survive that sort of thing. Funny that.’

  Was he suggesting what I think he was suggesting? Jeez! If what he was implying was true, then he was into much bigger things than I had given him credit for. I had definitely underestimated him. I looked across at him but he refused to make eye contact. He did look pretty smug though.

  ‘It worked out very well for me though,’ he continued. ‘No one else was looking for, or could afford, somewhere quite this big.’ He winked at me and tapped his nose. ‘Understand what I’m saying?’

  ‘No,’ I said, looking suitably blank.

  ‘Well, think about it,’ he explained patiently. ‘Who’s got money to spend on these huge units right now? And the thing is, it’s not finished inside so that’s gonna cost a fortune.’

  ‘Yes. And?’ I still wasn’t sure what he was on about.

  ‘You’ve not got a handle on the world of business, have you?’

  ‘Well, no,’ I agreed. ‘Why would I have?’

  ‘Let me make it simple for you, then.’ His patience was obviously waning. ‘This is the local council’s big project, right? They’ve spent a small fortune building these units on this estate, and they’ve built for, and targeted, specific businesses. They’re looking for a big, long-term return. Everything seems to be going to plan. The smaller units get taken quickly enough, so they think they’re onto a winner. So they move on with their plan and build this bloody huge unit specifically for their biggest target.

  ‘Then, suddenly, that big target company goes tits up. The pot of gold at the end of their rainbow has suddenly become a huge pile of shit and there isn’t another business in the country that wants to spend money to help them out.’

  He sat back happily, reliving the events as he was telling me.

  ‘And then, just when resignation letters are about to be drafted among the relevant officials, along comes rich Uncle Nugent with an offer they just can’t refuse. I take this great big white elephant of a building off their hands and offer to bring jobs and prestige to the town. How could they refuse?’

  Once again he began his ‘donkey impression’, laughing so hard I thought he was going to choke.

  ‘And you planned all this?’

  That provoked another burst of laughter.

  ‘Well did you?’

  ‘That’s for me to know and for you to wonder about,’ he said happily before tapping his nose again and winking. ‘Understand what I’m saying?’

  He had another good laugh; this time because I really couldn’t tell if he was for real or not. Finally, he managed to get a grip long enough to point in the direction he wanted to go.

  ‘Pull up just around the next corner and I’ll show you my new toy.’

  Chapter Eight

  At the back of the building there was a car park that would have accommodated several football pitches. Nugent’s new toy was parked slightly apart from a dozen other assorted vehicles. He told me to park alongside and jumped out. His chest puffed up with pride.

  ‘Well. What do you think?’

  ‘I should remind you,’ I said, rather wearily, ‘if this is supposed to impress me, you’re wasting your time. I’ve never been into all that ‘mine’s bigger than yours’ macho bollocks. I’ve always been more interested in who people are, not what they’ve got.’

  ‘If I was trying to impress you I’d have shown you the car first, then the bloody great building,’ said Nugent in an offended tone. ‘Just remember I didn’t ask you to come here, you came to see me. Anyway, I don’t need to go out of my way to impress people.’
r />   He didn’t add to that comment, and I wasn’t exactly sure what he was trying to tell me. Perhaps he thought he was so impressive he didn’t need to try. Whatever, I wasn’t looking for an argument so I decided the best response would be no response. Sometimes it pays to know when to keep quiet.

  Actually the car was quite impressive. Not in a ‘I must have one’ way, but simply in the finish and the fact that it was a car you can see every day, everywhere, but someone had obviously taken a great deal of time and trouble to make this one something special.

  It was a brand new customised Range Rover, complete with a sun roof that seemed to run all the way from front to back, and a dazzling array of lights along the front and up on the roof. The paint job was absolutely stunning. It was a mural of galloping white horses on a black background, which covered the entire length of the car.

  He gave me a quick rundown of all the special, custom-built features. He seemed to be particularly impressed with the highly-tuned V8 engine, which he started and revved especially for me. Left to idle, it burbled away to itself, hinting at the raw power potential it possessed.

  I had to admit to him that it was certainly something special. And sat behind the wheel, Nugent certainly looked as though he belonged there.

  ‘I’ve got it for a couple of days on approval.’ He smiled wickedly. ‘If I approve of their debt repayment, they can have it back. If they don’t repay me, I get to keep it.’

  He gave the accelerator one last twitch, making the engine roar once more, then switched it off. Then he gave the steering wheel one last pat before climbing down to join me. He looked immensely pleased with himself.

  ‘See,’ he said, triumphantly. ‘You do like it!’

  Despite what he had said, Nugent does like to impress people. So, I conceded that yes, I did like, it because I knew that once he was happy he’d made an impression, he would be prepared to listen to what I had to say. The fact is, if you want to get on with Nugent it’s actually very simple. Don’t show him you’re scared, know when to keep quiet, and allow him to think he’s impressed you. Simples!

  Convinced he had now shown his total superiority, he was happy to get down to business.

  ‘Well, I’m sure you didn’t come here just to let me show off,’ he said, leaning back against his car, ‘so what can I do for you?’

  ‘Do you know a guy called Billy Bumble?’

  ‘Why d’you want to know that?’

  ‘He’s gone missing.’

  ‘You can’t just assume it must be something to do with me whenever someone goes missing. What sort of person do you think I am?’

  ‘I’m not accusing you of anything. I just wondered if you’ve heard anything, that’s all.’

  ‘No,’ he said. ‘Billy’s not one of my guys. He’s too bloody useless to work for me. He’s a free agent. Works for himself. Does petty stuff. What are you doing worrying about a pillock like him?’

  ‘His wife, Allison, asked me for help. She says Billy’s been arrested but he hasn’t. He’s been kidnapped.’

  ‘Kidnapped?’ Nugent laughed long and hard. ‘You’re kidding me. What’s the ransom demand? You wouldn’t pay fifty pence to get him back.’

  ‘But he’s been kidnapped by Nasty Nash.’

  That stopped him laughing. ‘Ah! Really? You’re not winding me up?’

  ‘I wish I was,’ I said. ‘Apparently, he turned up at Billy’s place with another guy and ”arrested” him. Only it wasn’t an arrest because Nash is on gardening leave. Now both Nash and Billy are missing.’

  ‘But why would Nash want Billy Bumble?’

  ‘To get back at Allison. Her evidence was key to getting Nash’s father charged with murder.’

  ‘Oh, yeah! Of course. Shit!’ said Nugent. ‘So Nash has gone right off his head then.’

  This was the second time this morning I’d been told that Nash had gone off his head. It gave me a distinct sinking feeling.

  ‘Have you any idea where he might have taken him?’ I asked, hopefully.

  ‘Not a clue,’ said Nugent, gloomily. ‘But I can put out some feelers for you. Maybe someone knows something. If I hear anything I’ll let you know.’

  With that, he made a great show of looking at an enormous Rolex watch strapped to his wrist.

  ‘Oh dear. Is that the time? It’s been lovely talking to you but I must go. I’m late for a meeting.’

  When Nugent displayed the watch, it meant he’d had enough. It was time for me to go.

  I said goodbye and climbed into my car. As I drove away I could see him in the rear-view mirror. He was polishing a minute speck of dust off the bonnet of his Range Rover. Late for a meeting, my arse.

  Chapter Nine

  We didn’t often go to the pub these days, so I was quite looking forward to getting together with Pete and Daphne. They seemed to have become an established item these days and I have to say they both looked happy and relaxed as a result. And why not? After all, they did make a great couple.

  As Sophia and I took the short walk to the pub, I wondered if we’d ever get to that stage. Right now, with her on my arm, cosying up to me, I think anyone seeing us would probably think we looked like a great couple. And for sure we got on just great, but we each had our hang-ups and they did tend to get in the way. But then again, I guess if we both wanted it to work we’d find a way past those hang-ups.

  ‘So what makes you think we can find something that Dave Slater couldn’t?’ asked Pete. We were sitting on two-seater sofas, Pete and Daphne one side of the table, Sophia and me on the other. It was fair question, and I didn’t really have an answer.

  ‘I really don’t know, Pete. I suppose I’m hoping that if we put our heads together, we might come up with something. I know it sounds a bit random, but maybe there’s a link between Nash being in DB’s house and Billy’s disappearance.’

  ‘I thought there wasn’t actually any real proof that Nash had been in there. I mean, Slater wasn’t convinced, was he?’

  ‘That’s true, but then Slater has rules to follow. We don’t. So forget all that stuff and indulge me for a few minutes.’

  ‘This sounds to me like you have a theory,’ said Pete with a grin. ‘Go on then. I’ve got no opinion either way so my mind is open. Let’s hear it.’

  ‘Right. This will probably sound crazy, but this is what I’ve got. You remember when Dave Burnham was arrested, he claimed he had been paid to attack DB. Now, I don’t know for sure if that was true or not, but let’s suppose it was true. We know Nash was angry about DB getting us to investigate his father, so it could be that he’s the one who paid Dave Burnham. Are you with me so far?’

  Pete nodded in encouragement. ‘Yes, go on.’

  ‘When I found DB, the papers he was working on were all over the place as if someone had been searching through them. What if Dave Burnham hadn’t been able to find what he was looking for? We never found the missing key. Maybe he kept the key and passed it on to Nash so he could search again when all the fuss had died down.’

  ‘So Nash waits a few weeks and then goes back to the scene of the crime, lets himself in, and has all the time he wants to carry out a neat search and we’re all none the wiser, right?’ asked Pete.

  ‘Except he replaced the folders the wrong way around, and I noticed,’ I said smugly.

  ‘So what’s missing then?’ asked Pete. ‘You have checked, I take it.’

  ‘That’s where we have a little problem,’ I conceded. ‘The thing is, I don’t know what was in the folders to start with. When I cleared up the mess I just stuffed it all back in the files. I didn’t read anything because I didn’t think it was any of my business.’

  ‘So that means you don’t even know if the right paperwork is in the right folder.’

  ‘I’m afraid so.’

  ‘And if we don’t know what was in there, we don’t know what he’s taken.’

  Pete’s summary left me feeling pretty useless. I thought it was a promising theory, and it certainly explain
ed how Nash could have got into the house without breaking in, but it didn’t help us get any further forward with why he had done it. It wasn’t helping me to find Billy Bumble either.

  We lapsed into a gloomy silence, each of us trying to figure out where we should go from here.

  All this time, Daphne and Sophia had been quietly listening to us without saying a word. It was Sophia who broke the silence.

  ‘You’re assuming he took something from the folders,’ she said, leaning forward.

  ‘Well, yeah,’ I said, turning to face her. ‘Why else would he have been searching through them?’

  ‘Maybe it’s me,’ she said, ‘but it seems you’re making a big assumption.’

  Pete and I looked baffled.

  ‘Your theory is all based on assumptions,’ she said. ‘Don’t get me wrong, it all makes sense, but I think maybe one of your assumptions is wrong.’

  Daphne’s face suddenly lit up and she began to nod furiously in agreement, but it must have been a woman thing because when I looked across at Pete, he still looked as bemused as I felt.

  Sophia smiled patiently and turned to Daphne. ‘You see what I’m getting at?’

  ‘Oh yes,’ agreed Daphne. ‘Information isn’t always a physical thing.’

  There’s nothing more irritating than having two smug women who could see something so clearly when we seemed to be so completely blind to it. It was like they had just walked out of the fog and we’d gone in where it was even thicker.

  ‘Alright,’ Pete said, ‘so we admit women are the smarter sex. You can have maximum points for being clever, but they all get deducted for you both being so smug about it.’

  ‘Oh, that’s not fair,’ said Sophia, pouting sulkily. ‘If we don’t get the points reinstated, we keep the secret and you’ll have to work it out for yourselves.’

  I couldn’t help but laugh at her face.

  ‘Okay, okay,’ I said. ‘You win. You can have the points back. Now tell us.’

  ‘As you’re such a gracious loser, I’ll explain,’ she began. ‘You’re suggesting that Nash went back to the house to search for something which was on a piece of paper, yes?’